Among the numerous giganto-catastrolypses facing the earth in 2012, one of the best known is the Earth's incipient polar shift. Through a variety of methods - some involving actual math and numbers - many 2012 researchers have pinpointed 2012 as the date for a polar reversal with the potential to devastate the planet, obliterate civilization and cause a statistically significant increase in airline delays in and out of Chicago O'Hare airport.
But what does a polar shift really mean? The term may refer to one of two different phenomena, either or both of which could literally turn the world upside down. This would turn the Earth into a "Bizarro World" where the sun rose in the West, up was down, dogs and cats lived together in harmony, Canadians were rude, the Washington Redskins won the NFC East and the band Nickelback didn't suck.
It is a well-known scientific phenomenon that Earth's magnetic poles periodically shift - turning the magnetic "North" pole into the "South" pole and vice-versa. This event, known as a geomagnetic reversal or magnetic polar shift, occurs with varying regularity throughout Earth's history, ranging from frequent shifts every 250,000 years to long "superchrons" in which no polar shift is seen for up to 50 million years.
The Earth's last magnetic field reversal occurred 800,000 years ago, making us either 550,000 years overdue or 49.2 million years early. However, the combination of recent scientific data and good old fashioned hysteria have helped 2012 researchers pinpoint the due date for the next reversal as - wait for it - December 21, 2012.
Much of the concern over magnetic flips is driven by scientists themselves: the Sun reverses its own magnetic field every 11 years, and astronomers have identified its next upcoming change as taking place in 2012. Then research data about changes in the Earth's magnetic field published in 2002 began to drive wide speculation. The PBS series Nova fretted over whether the Earth's magnetic field was beginning to change or even disappearing entirely. Even the UK newspaper The Guardian - from a country known for its level-headed reasonableness and drunken fistfights during soccer games - declared in a banner headline "Sun's rays to roast Earth as poles flip."
This sounds like a pretty open and shut case for a Super Sized Value Meal of Magnetic Pole Reversal Doom in 2012. But the sinister misinformationists at NASA would have you believe that "during a magnetic flip ... Reversals take a few thousand years to complete, and during that time--contrary to popular belief--the magnetic field does not vanish. It just gets more complicated ... A south magnetic pole might emerge over Africa, for instance, or a north pole over Tahiti. Weird. But it's still a planetary magnetic field, and it still protects us from space radiation and solar storms." Or so they would have you believe.
If you feel that magnetic reversal sounds too gradual, predictable and even plausible, then this is the theory for you. Even more frightening is the concept of a cataclysmic pole shift in which the Earth's rotational axis physically changes.
Most proponents of the physical reversal theory believe that in 2012 the Earth may slip onto its side or completely alter its axial spin. Even a casual glance of the Internets will demonstrate the overwhelming evidence for a coming polar shift.
One website focused on helping those in the greater Scranton, PA area survive warns us that a catastrophic physical pole shift is imminent due to the return of the rogue 12th planet (see our coverage). The site predicted all this would occur in 2003, but I don't think that's any reason to discredit its scientific reasoning or excellent advice on saving seeds for post-apocalyptic gardening. (Fortunately, another site dedicated to the Pole Shift - inspired by the author's "astonishing" visions while having a bad case of the flu - informs us that the predictions of a pole shift for May 15, 2003 were just "misinformation by Shadow people to confuse all of us," meaning that you still haven't missed the chance to wear that special outfit you had picked out just for an extrasolar collision and global catastrophe.)
Another prediction is that the pole shift will cause everyone in New York City to instantaneously fall 2,000 feet to their deaths. This data comes from the highly trained and well-grounded professional geologists populating the "AboveTopSecret.com" 2012 forums warn of the results. Get it? Well grounded? Geologists? Oh, forget it.
According to famed 2012 researcher Patrick Geryl, "Scientifically [pole shift] can only be explained by the fact that the earth will start rotating in the opposite direction, together with a huge disaster of unknown proportions." Now, "unknown proportions" sounds vague to us - for example, is it bigger than a breadbox? Fortunately for those concerned with quantifying their doom, Patrick states clearly that "life after a polar reversal is nothing but horror, pure unimaginable horror ... The earth will be subjected to total destruction. It will be many times worse than my description. Terrible hunger, cold and pain, and more will rule your daily life: without hope of a quick recovery, because all knowledge and resources will have been completely destroyed." This definitely sounds bigger than a breadbox. Fortunately Patrick also mentions that you can buy his books to learn how to survive the catastrophe - or at least make sure your good china is bolted down when the Earth's rotation stops and life becomes an unending misery much like watching reruns of "Mama's Family."
One man who has tirelessly warned of the impending pole shift in 2012 is Carl Petersen (visionary, tax exile and seller of portable sawmilling equipment) at his website www.poleshift2012.com. Petersen, following the theories of Charles Hapgood, warns us that the weight of ice at the Earth's poles may cause the planet to tilt over. This, combined with the tides created by the moon and the sun, will pull on the lava underneath the ground - something about the center of the planet spinning faster than the crust - something about the abolition of income taxes - OK, I got lost before the end of the explanation.
But that's not important right now. What is important is that Carl isn't just whining about impending doom, he's doing something about it. Carl has identified the place on the planet where you can go to survive the catastrophes of the future, and do it in style. Carl is seeking like-minded visionaries to help him build a post-apocalyptic society on the island of Santos in the tiny Pacific nation of Vanuatu. From there, you can live in protection from disasters, enjoy perfect weather and cheer on the Vanuatu national cricket team. And also experience the occasional magnitude 7+ earthquake.
Predictably, scientists have dutifully served the conspiracy by making outrageous claims such as that polar shift is an incredibly rare phenomenon which has take place only a few times in the history of the solar system, and appears in no way likely to recur on Earth.
While so-called "scientists" with so-called "advanced degrees" from so-called "accredited universities" may try to brainwash the public with their so-called "facts," those of us in the know are on to their little game. While the particular cause or effects of the coming planetary shift may be subject to debate, the fact that we are all pretty much hosed remains incontrovertible.